Blackout (from TOW The Blackout 107)     

New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour
But to me that is not scary
Cause I stay away from dairy
La-la-la-la-la-la...

Snowman (from TOW The Monkey 110)

I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen
La-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Cremated Mother (from TOW The Monkey 110)

And my mother's ashes
Even her eyelashes
Are resting in a little yellow jaaaaaaar

My Coma guy (from TOW Mrs.Bing 111)

You don't have to be awake to be my man
As long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day
There's something I have go to say...

Babies (from TOW the Birth 123)

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
And you cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry...

They found their bodies (from TOW the Birth 123)

And they found their bodies the very next day
They found their bodies the very next day...

In the shower (from TOW the Baby on the bus 206)

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And tegrin spelled backward is nirget.
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
(pause)
As needed!

When I play (from TOW the Baby on the bus 206)

When I play I play for me
I don't need your charity

Terry's a jerk (from TOW the Baby on the bus 206)

Terry's a jerk!
And he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk!
(time passes by)
And you're all invited to bite me!

Double-jointed Boy (from TOW the Baby on the bus 206)

He was a double, double, double-jointed boy

Stephanie (from TOW the Baby on the bus 206)

Stephanie knows all the chords!

Smelly Cat(from TOW the Baby on the bus 206/Eddie Moves In 217)

(Chorus)
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault

They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favourite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses

(Repeat Chorus)

Friends againに収録

Two of them kissed last night(from TOW the List 208)

There was a girl we'll call her Betty
And a guy let's call him Neil
Now I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real.
(time passes by)
Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie?
He must decide, he must decide
Even though I made him up he must decide

Grandma(from TOW the Superbowl 212)

Now grandma's a person who everyone likes
She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and someday you will too
La-la-la-la-la...

Don't(from TOW the Superbowl 212)

There'll be times when you get older
And you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But DON'T
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do
That's another thing that you don't wanna do

Bi-sexual(from TOW the Superbowl 212)

Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
Then there are bi-sexuals
Though some just say they're kidding themselves
La-la-la-la-la-la...

Barnyard Animals(from TOW the Superbowl 212)

Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Nowwwww chickens!

Crusty Old Man(from TOW Dr. Ramoray Dies 218)

...And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can"
And the rest of the rats played maracas

Sticky Shoes(from TOW Phoebe's Ex-Partner 314)

My favourite shoes so good to me
I wear them everyday
Down at the heel, holes in the toe
Don't care what people say
My feet's best friend, pals to the end
With them I'm one hot chicky
Though late one night
Not much light
I stepped in something icky

(Chorus)
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes
Always makes me smile
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes
Next time I'll avoid the pile

Jingle Bitch(from TOW Phoebe's Ex-Partner 314)

Jingle bitch screwed me over
Go to hell jingle whore
Go to hell, go to hell, go to h-h-hell

Crazy Underwear(from TOW Ross's Thing 323)

Crazy underwear creeping up my butt
Crazy underwear always in a rut
Crazy underwear...

The 66 colours of my bedroom(from TOW the Jellyfish 401)

...fuschia and mauve
Those are the 66 colours of my bedroom

Dumb Drunken Bitch(from TOW the Cat 402)

...dumb drunken bitch!!

My Sticky Shoe(from TOW Joey's New Girlfriend 405)

My sticky shoe
My sticky, sticky shoe
Why you stick on me, ba-a-bay?

Parading Goats(from TOW Joey's New Girlfriend 405)

Parading goats are parading,
Parading down the street.
Parading goats are parading,
Leaving little treats.

Paper Mache(from TOW Joey's New Girlfriend 405)

And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man.

Tony Tarzan(from TOW Chandler Crosses the Line 407)

Little Tony Tarzan
Swinging on an nose hair
Swinging with the greatest of ease...

Holiday Song(from TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie 410)

Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap
Said all you need is to write them a song
Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along
No don't sing along
Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler!

Little Fetus(from TOW The Embryos 412)

Are you in there little fetus?
In nine months will you come greet us?
I will buy you some Adidas

Little Black Curly Hair(from TOW Ross' Denial 603)

I found you in my bed...
How'd you wind up there?
You are a mystery
Little black curly hair
Little black curly hair
Little black, little black,
Little black, little black,
Little black curly hair

Two Heart Attacks(from TOW Could've Been Pt. 2  616)

It only takes two heart attacks
to finally make you see
one of them won't do it
but the second will set you free
Tell all your hate and anger
it's time to say good bye
and that is just what I will do
as soon as those bastards I work for die
Lalalalalalalalalala...

First Time I met Chandler(from TOW Monica's Thunder 701)

First time I met chandler
I thought he was gay
but here I am singing
on his wedding daaaay

Whenever I get Married(from TOW Monica's Thunder 701)

Whenever I get married
Guess who I won't ask to sing!
Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!!!

Who's Gonna Perform the Ceremony(from TOW Monica's Thunder 701)

Who's gonna perform the ceremony?
Who's gonna perform the ceremony?

Thought Phoebe Would Leave(from TOW Monica's Thunder 701)

We thought Phoebe would leave
But she just stayed and stayed
That's right, here all night
And Chandler will never get ****

Argentina Song(from TOW Rachel's Dream 919)

And there's a country called Argentina
It's a place I've never seen
But I'm told for fifty pesos
You can buy a human spleeeeen
Human spleen!
Ola

The Woman Smelled Like Garbage(from TOW Rachel's Dream 919)

It wasn't just that she was fat,
The woman smelled like garbage!
Everyone!
It wasn't just that she was fat,
The woman smelled like gaaaarbage!
Classy huh?

The Food Here At Javu(from TOW Rachel's Dream 919)

The food here at Javu...will kill you!
The food here at Javu...will kill you!

(Monica) Oh thank God, I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
(Phoebe) You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic's not going to overuse itself.